One of the meanings of discipline is to punish or penalize to train and control; correct; chastise. When you are disciplined for doing something wrong, it does not necessarily result in repentance or transformation.
I find myself pondering the question today, what type of environment must be cultivated to yield the fruitful results of discipline? What we believe has a significant impact on the response to discipline in our lives.
I remember fearing punishment as a child, yet fear wasn’t enough of a deterrent to avoid disobedience when there was a conflict in what I wanted. Sometimes my desires would override the fear, and I would risk getting caught in my disobedience. One day I went to see a movie with a group of friends. I told my parents I was seeing a PG movie, but we went to see an R-rated action movie that my parents would never have permitted.
When I arrived home from the movie, my dad was eerily sitting on the couch in our front room, waiting for me. He asked, how was the movie? I said good. He said, what movie did you see? That is all it took; I literally cracked. I confessed that we went to see a different movie and wondered how he knew. Years later, I discovered that he didn’t know but had a “feeling” and went with it. I was punished for lying.
But the real question is, did I learn from what I did? Did I receive the correction in a way to change my heart? Not a chance. I took the punishment because I could accept that I had done wrong; however, the next time my parents’ rules conflicted with something I wanted to do, I tried again to get away with my own way. Even though I feared getting in trouble and getting caught, fear was not a deterrent to my bad behaviour. I didn’t care that my actions were potentially harmful, hurtful to my parents or selfishly motivated. I would find a way to do what I wanted to do because I thought I knew best.
There is only one motivation that makes discipline effective: love. If you do not believe that you are unconditionally loved and that any discipline comes from a place of genuine and deep love for you, then discipline will not lead to transformation.
There is a difference between the Lord’s discipline because of His love for us and punishment, which is bearing the weight of the penalty of our wrongs. I lied about which movie I went to see, so I deserved punishment for my wrongdoing. I could accept that, yet my punishment did not change my heart; once the penalty was paid, I chose the same behaviour again and again. It was almost as if the punishment received was my payment for my crime, then I was free to do what I wanted again, regardless of the consequences.
Did God know this about our human nature? Did God know that even though we could agree that we deserved punishment, it would not be an effective way to transform our hearts? So, God sent Jesus in our place; Jesus bore our punishment and the weight of our wrongdoings through physical suffering and in return, we receive grace, right-standing with God and justification.
The Bible says that it’s the kindness of the Lord that leads us to a place of repentance, not punishment, not abuse and not humiliation. Perfect love casts out fear because fear has to do with punishment. God sent Jesus to save us by grace from the very things that will enslave us. We don’t even have to “do our time” to correct the wrongs we have done. We get transformed and made completely new. What a joy and honour to serve and love God, follow in His ways and give Him our whole hearts. We are not forced to; we are not even required to; it’s our provision, our salvation from punishment, our gift of life and our joy and blessing.
I think about that person who lied about what movie she went to see, who bore the punishment for her wrong and then went out and did the same thing again, and I feel sad for her. She believed a lie that she knew better and that she was the master of her life. She believed she was free and powerful. She thought she had everything she wanted, yet she was enslaved by her spiritual enemy.
I am comparing a natural story with spiritual reality; in this natural world, we will have punishment. If we break the law, we must pay. If we break our parents’ rules, there will be punishment, but what makes the difference between allowing discipline to transform you or seeing it as the means to paying for your wrongs is LOVE.
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