When we hear testimony, it is usually what God has done in our place of need, but what happens when things have not turned out how you hoped, believed or prayed? When disappointment rolls in on how you thought it should be but isn’t! We are often asked this question on Heartstrong.
We all have lived through disappointment at some point in our lives or another. I recall two that came to mind: when I had limited God to how I hoped it would be instead of His will, which encompasses much more than my wants. As I prayed for someone who had to make a life decision, it had been a time of much prayer and fasting, sure in faith that things would turn out differently. God would change their mind, and when it did not happen as I imagined it would, I wept as I felt the weight of disappointment, wept as I walked down Sparks Street, wept on the bus, wept for the next couple of weeks, and while weeping found myself constantly confessing “God I don’t understand, but choose to trust You.” I learnt that God gives each of us free will and will not violate our will to choose.
I remember, too, when the doctor told me I had cancer, a feeling of numbness and just a loud echo; his mouth was moving, but I heard nothing more. I could not understand; I was in a mountain season of sweet fellowship and now here, with so many questions. How can this be? Lord, what’s going on? And at some point of settling, said to the Lord, “God, I place my hand in Yours; I choose to trust You even when I don’t understand.” I wish I could tell you there was an instant miracle. Still, for the next year, it was a roller coaster physically, spiritual, and emotionally: good days and not-so-good days, moments of choosing to take the next breathe, to moments of squeezing His Hand in thankfulness for little miracles along the way, step by step revealing more and more of Himself as the God who heals, not only physical but hearts, mine and those around me, restoring and redeeming all in the unknown, Him drawing me closer to His heart, all along the way revealing His love. As I recall my testimony of then, it fuels my waiting of now, that God Is Good, God Is Faithful, He is the Constant and Worthy of Praise.
Drawn to Habakkuk during his distress, disappointment, loss, and hunger when he could not see any hope, no buds on the fig tree, no olives on the tree, no produce in the fields, no sheep on the pen, no cattle in the stalls, Yet a knowing of a Covenant keeping God; in faith, he declares “Yet! Despite!, In the midst of! I WILL Rejoice in the YAHWEH; I WILL be Joyful in GOD, my SAVIOR!. The LORD GOD is my Strength. He will make my feet like a deer’s feet, and He will make me walk on my high hills.” (Habkk.3:18-19). He chooses to Rejoice In the LORD; he is not moved by what he sees but by faith in God’s ability to strengthen him in this hard place. Yahweh had become his Strength!
When we are in the midst of our suffering, the first thing the enemy tries to steal is our Joy and Peace for the simple reason that strength comes as we rejoice in the LORD, when we exalt God greater than our circumstances, His majestic holiness, and awesome power, remembering His faithfulness and great love for us, Hope arises, and we are empowered with His strength. When we bring a sacrifice of praise, yes, it costs something of you, a laying down of your will, your way for His, a humbling of self, abiding in His Word. So, we offer a sacrifice of Praise of Thankfulness during our trials, hardships, disappointment, loss, and spiritual hunger and, like Habakkuk boldly proclaims, “Yet I Will Rejoice in the LORD, I Choose to be Joyful in God My Savior, He is my Strength.” Let our testimony be that through it all, He never leaves nor forsakes me; He draws me close. LORD, You are the love of our life and the strength of our hearts. Amen & Amen
