My story, PRIOR to being rescued by the saving grace of Jesus, was not very pretty. I was not a person who sought to help or support others. My focus was specifically all about ME.
I loathed Christians. I thought of them as hollow puppets with no understanding of anything beyond a bunch of rules that they blindly followed. While they went about their robotic existence, I chose to follow my mind and heart wherever and however they would lead me. Boss of my own life! Oh, the power I felt. I pursued paths of self-aggrandizement through my musical gifts, seeking fame and fortune and all of its trappings. My life was filled with pornographic images and a thoroughly twisted view of relationships. I was fuelled by lust and carnal desires. I constantly spent my finances on personal pleasures and fulfillment. As I look back on how I was, I am filled with shame.
So, when I first started to encounter the LORD and His love for me, I could not understand how He could feel anything but utter disapproval for who I was and all I had done. 23 “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. ” Romans 3:23-24 (NLT).
As I read that Scripture, fully seeing myself in Verse 23, my heart rose unexpectedly on that key pivotal phrase, “Yet God, in His grace.” Still, I was challenged by how such a glorious expression of love could be given when the recipient was so stained by all they had done. My darkness had been “lived into” as I went through my life. I had wrapped it around me like an impenetrable cloak. Everything I saw, thought of, said, and did, was arrived at through this darkness. It defined and defiled me at every turn. I could not see how a Holy God could turn His eyes, even momentarily, toward someone so sinful. After all, I also had some knowledge of His potential wrath towards those whose sinful natures labelled them as “enemies of God.” And hadn’t I been precisely that and allied with those forces that represented the polar opposite of God.? Who thought and spoke of His very existence with disdain, slander and disbelief. I was not slightly lost or led astray. I had purposefully charged headlong into the dark forest to embrace and revel in all that it held and promised.
“YET GOD, IN HIS GRACE,” He reached out to me. With blood-stained hands, He reminded me of His sacrifice – freely given for me – even though I was still a sinner, with no affinity for Him nor His ways. I stared long and hard at that gift He offered, the sacrifice He made with my human mind still struggling to understand how He could see me as worthy of any attention – let alone blessing. Then the Holy Spirit slowly started to unlock my chained spirit. He brought words of understanding and healing and laid them on top of my hardened heart. And He left them there to soak through my years of hurt, anger, waywardness, and selfishness. Until, one day, I could finally see myself in truth – being healed. Scripture sums my story up perfectly (as it so often does):
1 “Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. 2 You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. 3 All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature, we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. 4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) 6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. 8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.” Ephesians 2:1-6-8 (NLT).
Before, it was ONLY about me – but now, it was NOT. Learning this at the root of my salvation gift helped me realize that in His grace, I was made whole and strengthened to walk with Him and follow His ways. It also allowed me to pass grace along to others. And His grace at work in me has continued DAILY. I will never forget that I am a sinner constantly needing a saviour. But every day, I am sanctified to help me rise above my humanness.
So how could grace save me? It was only through the Mighty Hand of a loving and grace-filled God. Plucking me from the mire of sin. Placing me here to share the truth of a personal journey from being lost and feeling unsalvageable to now, standing in His glorious light of freedom and purpose.
9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you…'” 2 Corinthians 12:9.
Your Turn: How has this blog inspired or touched you today? Feel free to respond in the comments box below. Thank you!
