It’s almost like we are allergic to repentance and forgiveness. Think about it? When was the last time someone came to you and simply said, “I was wrong; please forgive me?”
Recently I received an apology from someone in our church; the email began with, “I might have been a little harsh… I had a bad week….” In a later communication, the person referenced their apology. I was left with a question, “When did they apologize?” When they said “I might have…” followed by an excuse? I’m sorry, but that is no apology.
In today’s society, these are the phrases we use to apologize: “I’m sorry if I hurt you, but.” or “I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you shouldn’t have…” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you….” These are not apologies.
It is important to apologize because, when we do, we align ourselves with God’s truth when we apologize. 1 John 1:8-10 (ESV) says, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” In other words, forgiveness is available. Still, it does require asking for forgiveness without excuses and then a willingness to forgive.
Our communities have seen more broken relationships over the last two years than ever before because of disagreements over politics and Covid. We counsel broken families and often ask ourselves, “Why don’t they just ask for forgiveness?”. Why is there a refusal to repent?
In Proverbs 28:13 (ESV). God says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” So, we need to change our understanding of an apology. Let’s run to mercy and true repentance.
“The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande is an excellent book to read and will help you change your excuses into an apology.
Repentance is freedom! You are not responsible for the other individual’s response or forgiveness: They may never forgive you. But when you have done your part in navigating what true repentance looks like, you have followed the way of God. That’s a good thing. My hope is that your broken relationships will be restored because of your actions. It’s worth it. They are worth it.
Your Turn: How has this blog encouraged, inspired, or touched you today? Share your responses in the comments box below.
