The Lies of Rejection

The fear of rejection is pretty universal. Who hasn’t been hurt by rejection at some point or another? In our fallen and broken human nature, we can reject one another and be rejected. Unfortunately, rejection is alive and well in our world, and the wounds inflicted by rejection can be seen everywhere.

But the fear of being rejected can be a paralyzing trap, and it’s a very efficient tool used by the enemy. It can keep us from stepping out, keep us from following where God leads us, and even keep us from connecting with God Himself, out of fear He might reject us too.  Those who reject God will indeed be cut off from Him in the end. But what about within God’s Kingdom? Where does rejection fit? Is there any rejection? Is it something we should worry about?

Rejection is painful because it goes beyond simply ‘not being chosen for something.’ The pain accompanying rejection is often because of the underlying message whispering that we are unlovable, unwanted, not good enough, unworthy, hopeless, failures, insignificant, etc. Who can read this list without wincing a little? We all relate to these fears. Because we are created in the image of Love, we all deeply long to be loved, cherished, called worthy, and accepted. The enemy knows we are hardwired this way, and fearing the underlying message of rejection can throw us off track.

Let’s take a look at what the Bible says about rejection. My favourite story on this topic is in Mark chapter 5 when Jesus restores a demon-possessed man. It says that after he was restored, the man “begged” Jesus to let him come with Him. “Jesus did not let him, but said, ‘Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.” Mark 5:19 NIV. Is Jesus rejecting him here? In fact, this isn’t the only time when Jesus refuses to allow someone to come with Him. After all, many followed Him, but Jesus only chose a dozen men to be in His “inner circle.” Is that also a form of rejection?

Here is the distinction I can see: The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but whatever God does brings life more abundantly (John 10:10). When the enemy wields rejection as a weapon, it wounds, damages, breeds fear, insecurities, isolation, disqualification, and relational death with people and even with God.

The outcome is always destructive, and that tells us something about the origin – that it can’t be from God. “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.” Luke 6:43-44 NIV.

Jesus explains to us that God is the gardener, and He “cuts off every branch (…) that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:2 NIV. Pruning can be painful; cutting off what we are attached to can hurt – but it always leads to more life, more fruit, and more room to grow in the right direction. The outcome is life-giving because The Author of Life is behind it all. A caring and knowledgeable gardener knows what is a weed, needing to be removed and what branches drain a tree’s resources, keeping it from producing more fruit. He knows where we need to be planted in order to thrive.

If we go back to the story of the man who used to be demon-possessed, we get a glimpse of the outcome. Mark chapter 5 tells us that the people who saw the demons leave this man and enter into a herd of pigs were terrified, and they asked Jesus to leave right away. The newly restored man is told to go home, to go to this town of people chasing Jesus away. As Nicky Gumbel points out, “Jesus gets him involved in evangelism straight away (…) The next time Jesus came to the Decapolis, 4,000 people came to listen. This man’s testimony seems to have had a big impact.” (Bible in One Year with Nicky Gumbel; Day 50). Jesus did not reject him; he redirected him; he planted this man where life would flourish in the long run.

We can safely assume that rejection or disqualification is not a part of the Kingdom’s economy. We are chosen, cherished, redeemed, purchased at a high price, “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV.

Heavenly Father, thank you for Your good plans to prosper us and give us more life! Thank you for closing every wrong door and cutting off every branch that keeps us from bearing more fruit. Give us eyes to see a loving hand behind it all and to trust that You are working all things for our good. For anyone struggling with the pain and fear of rejection, God, we pray for healing and for freedom in Jesus’ name, amen!