Speak It With Love!

“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 ESV

I often think about how people speak to each other.  I like to observe and listen. I’ve witnessed confident people crumble because someone crushed and broken them with words that fly out of the mouth and off of something as small as the tongue.  I think words are invisible but can cut like a dagger, break the heart, and shatter the spirit, sending someone living life in light and joy into darkness and depression. I’ve listened to many speak about how they have been hurt and some very deeply.  Those crushing wounds sometimes never heal or never heal completely.  And often hurtful words spoken by someone close to them. It’s heartbreaking to listen to.

In some cases, they develop a feeling of being unworthy: unworthy to God and others. They question their identity in Christ.  Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).  So grateful we have Jesus, who knows precisely what a shattered and broken heart and spirit feels and looks like.  What we say, and I believe the tone of our words, really do matter.

And those who hurt others don’t realize the damage they are doing to themselves.  Ecclesiastes 10:12 says, “The words of a wise man’s mouth win him favour, but the lips of a fool consume him.” There are consequences of the words spoken of a foolish, hurtful person. The longer they talk, the less sense they make. They begin to believe what they are saying.  They have no idea the impact they are having on others or themselves. If our words are pleasant and encouraging, our fruit will be sweet and refreshing.  But if disrespectful, the fruit will be bitter.

Matthew 12:33-37 in the ESV is titled “A Tree Is Know By Its Fruit” in the AMP, the title is “Words Reveal Character.” Jesus says in Matthew 12:36-37, “I tell you, on the day of judgment, people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned.” The fruit of our words can help others flourish and reveal the Holy Spirit in us or cause someone to wither and show the darkness of their character.  When we lift others up, we also rise. When we pull others down, we bring ourselves down, low.  Our words can reveal our fruit, our character.

Paul says very clear how we should speak to others or in general. Ephesians 4:39, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” I think this clearly speaks to how there are so many unnecessary words or phrases in the world that make others very uncomfortable.  I read in an article: “what we speak should flow from a heart centred around Jesus.”

Not once in God’s Word does He call us names to tear us down.  He does speak correction, but it’s correction that builds us up, and we learn from our mistakes in life.  God speaks correction in love, as God is love.  God doesn’t call us harsh, hurting words.  He calls us “A FRIEND” (John 15:15); tells us we are “LOVED” (Romans 8:38-39);  we are “REDEEMED” (Romans 3:22-25), and we are “FEARLESS” (2 Timothy 1:7) and 2 Corinthians 6:18 says “And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me, says the Lord Almighty.” So comforting, He calls us His children.  And even though we sin, He still calls us saints.  We are called to be imitators of Jesus.  Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us….” The way I see it, this doesn’t only apply to our actions but also our words.

Proverbs 11:30 (AMP) says, “The fruit of the (consistently) righteous is a tree of life, and he who is wise captures and wins souls (for God – he gathers them for eternity).” As I read this, I thought of how God wants us to use our tongues and words to speak His Word, bringing hope, encouragement, and life to others.  Jesus calls us to go out and make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20 – The Great Commission).  God wants us to gather others for eternity.  And He also tells us if people don’t want to listen, shake the dust from our feet (Matthew 10:14).  He doesn’t call us to argue or say corrupt or rude words to others.

We are made in the image of God, and God spoke the universe into existence and breathed life into man. So, we too have the capability of speaking life-giving words to help others blossom and grow and bring life by choosing to speak with love and encouragement.   Proverbs 15:4 refers to a gentle tongue as being a “tree of life.” Trees give oxygen, which we breathe in to sustain life.

I believe what people say comes from what is in their minds and hearts.  So if you think about what is true, honourable and pure (Philippians 4:8), you’ll speak what is true, honourable and pure.  So often, I ask God to “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in His sight (Psalm 19:14).

And as we should honour others in speech, let us always remember, our Lord God is to be honoured:” You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain” (Exodus 20:7).

Father,  I pray the words of Your children are spoken with love and encouragement to build others up and grow Your Kingdom in Jesus’ name. Amen.