Receive with Boldness

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  John 10:10 ESV

As I turn the knob to the front door of my home, I notice something strange: it is unlocked. I hesitate. Is someone, or something, in my house? Have they been watching me or waiting for me to come home? As I step through the door, I hold my breath, timidly listening for evidence of any danger. I feel alone, vulnerable, unprepared. Suddenly, a dark shadow emerges at the top of the staircase. Its figure was awkwardly contorting as it makes its way towards me. I try to run, but my legs refuse to obey the command. I reach for the door, only to find it now barred from the outside. I’m trapped. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. I’m defenseless to the impending attack. So, I search for the nearest hiding space – a closet, a corner, under the bed, something, anything to keep me ‘safe.’ I recoil into the dark, heart beating, trying not to make a sound before I am snapped back to reality.

It was a recurring nightmare that I found myself in. And each time, that dark shadow of someone or something took on a new form. Some nights, it was a bear destroying all my furniture, or a zombie trying to steal my organs, or a murderer with a plot to kill. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy,” Jesus warns us in John 10:10. Each time, I awoke with the question, “God, what are you trying to tell me?” After months of prayer and studying the Word, it started to become clear.

Boldness. A word I often struggle to relate to.

I was always that shy kid. Quiet. So much so that they didn’t think I could speak English in elementary school and had placed me in ESL (English as a Second Language). Even after becoming a believer in my early 20s, I found it paralyzing to share my thoughts during a small group or pray aloud with a friend. My fear stopped me from sharing my faith or even standing up for what I believed in, in front of my family.

Yet, as God began to walk me through a season of refining, He started to show me where He wanted me to grow, how He wanted me to be bold. With each nightmare, God was bringing to light the schemes of the enemy in my life. How I was letting him into my home, my temple, the dwelling place of my soul without knowing it. God was showing me the areas I had left unattended and unlocked. He was instructing me to stay sober-minded and watchful.

In each nightmare, I found myself helpless to the hands of my enemy and hopelessly finding every door unlocked as a possible entryway. I could only ever try to run away or hide somewhere, cowering in the dark. Never confronting, never fighting back in battle, never standing ground on my holy land.

God was and still is exhorting me to step into the act of faith He first gifted me. To be prepared, to guard my house with bold courage. Bold – which doesn’t mean loud, or convincing, or aggressive – but to walk in a confident faith. Knowing that wherever He calls me to go, or whatever the Spirit convicts me to do, or leads me to ask in prayer, that I can confidently trust my God to guide, protect, and never leave me. Practically speaking, I may not be terrorized by bears, zombies, and murderers daily, but He knows that the enemy continues to encroach, to freeze me with fear, hoping I will hide and stay small.

Jesus says that He came so that we may have life and have it abundantly. But what is living in fear? What is life in hiding, running? He gives us the fullness of life as we step out of a passive, uncertain faith and into a bold and active one. We are to be watchful (1 Peter 5:8), pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17), and go and make disciples (Matthew 28:19). In an act of courage, hourly, we must choose to receive the boldness that God has given us. To stand firm, put on and take up the armour of God. He calls us to engage in Spirit, to be intentional in the act of pursuing a life of faith, and to don our garments of peace, readiness, and righteousness, all in His bold assurance.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the gift of bold faith. Shed light on the areas in my life where 

I have hidden, and where You are asking me to stand and receive a boldness. Strengthen me in courage, that I may receive fully, as you died and rose again, for me to live life abundantly,