A different way to BE

“Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your STRIVING, and you will see that I am God. I am the God above all nations, and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth” Psalm 46 TPT.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on earth” Psalm 46 NIV.

I was having a conversation with My 10-year-old niece the other day, I asked her if she ever has thoughts about “not being good enough” or lies about who she is, and she said, “No, but I do think about why are we here?”

I struggled to answer this question. My attempt at answering honestly in the moment was first to say, “what a great question that I have also been asking myself a lot this last year too.” Humility goes far with anyone, but especially children; they can tell when we are not real. Then, I shared that God is the creator of everything: that He purposely made humans on this earth to teach people how to love, care, and be kind to each other and live with increased joy, but then because people wanted power and authority over relationship with God we struggle a lot more than we were designed to. I am not a theologian but returning to these basic fundamental questions is so helpful and hard. It helps get to an embodied sense (versus cognitive) truth that isn’t just saying what I think is right. For me, it always points back to LOVE. The idea of knowing this agape love is simple, but the process is often very difficult to face and accept.

Sharing these truths with my niece sounded even a little odd to me when they came out of my mouth. Because a part of me is still struggling with thinking, I have to do or earn the complete overwhelming love and goodness that comes from choosing to connect with God.  At times, I still think there is no way I can be accepted and loved, just as I am right now.

The verses that reference “Be Still” and “Stand Firm” (Ephesians 6:13-14) are affirmations that come from a deep knowing that I know the one who created me, and God’s character is not based on anything I do; it just is. He is the ultimate Caretaker, Counselor, Father, Healer and that His plans are good. God is the one doing the creating, and then I get to make choices out of a place of rest and love. This is not from a place of self-sacrificing to the point of burnout, so I can somehow please the Lord or doing things from a place to get rid of feelings of guilt and shame. He doesn’t need my performance. He wants us to know deeply in our hearts how much we are loved and cared for, despite the circumstances we have been through. None of which changes who we are originally designed to be, but deconstructing how the events in our lives have shaped us.

In compassion-based therapy, we talk about slowing down to observe with curiosity and kindness when distress arises. Several years ago, I would have thought this was a passive way to deal with my issues. I felt that I had to do something or get rid of the “bad” thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The DOING was coming from a place of criticism and fear as motivation, which is one way to DO. However, as I started to learn to slow down and BE WITH as a way of doing, I learned to receive the love I never recognized previously and, in turn, offered this to others more. I recently went on vacation, and I became even more aware of these things because I had the chance to slow down and not worry about taking care of anything or anyone else.

Working, doing, pleasing others, serving and caretaking to the point of burnout; all were more comfortable for me. The truth is, ultimately, it’s more harmful to others and myself. Isn’t Being Still and Knowing-Standing Firm in who God is way more comfortable? When I practice this, I face and become more aware of the lies my mind created based on my experiences. It also means feeling and processing the emotions I never felt okay to have that stayed in my body for years.

I want to encourage you to take time to BE WITH and BE STILL even for a minute, observe and let whatever is there be there, and if there is one person you can share this with, ask questions. Maybe this is a counselor, a good friend or a family member that can hold space for all the parts of you. I have faith that you will feel God and His love in a way you haven’t experienced before. Then, you can slowly know that God is always this person for you. That is what Psalm 46 describes; the entire chapter is about God being on our side. Notice the verse doesn’t say to get rid of anxiety? It says to come to Him with it. When you take time to pause and notice His presence, you can begin or continue to deconstruct the more unhelpful ways you needed to be in this world and have a more intimate loving and kind relationship with yourself, God, and others.

If you have a chance to check out the song “Peace Be Still” by Hope Darst. And l also recently learned about the concept of “soaking worship,” so join me in discovering this new thing by just BEING WITH.