Assurance versus Uncertainty

“A thief has only one thing in mind, he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect, life in its fullness until you overflow” John 10:10 TPT

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” 1 John 4:18 NIV.

The Oxford language defines assurance as: “a positive declaration intended to give confidence (or certainty), a promise”! The verse above is Jesus’s words, and it is a promise. I have trouble believing His promises sometimes. What keeps me from receiving this full and abundant goodness and trusting in these words that can give me assurance?

Anxiety is fear of the unknown and can be felt when we don’t believe we have the ability to deal with this uncertainty. Our minds like predictability and control. This is a normal human response to something scary or unknown. If we don’t have a foundation of God’s truth, our minds will create their own story to make sense of what is happening and why it is happening.

I was not raised with knowing, understanding or experiencing God and His words. Things in my house were often unpredictable and left me feeling restless and unsafe. I made sense of these experiences by believing I did something wrong and that something was wrong with me. This was the reason I created for why I did not get the love and care that God shares in His Word. I didn’t believe I deserved it. As a way to cope, I developed protective behaviours that included focusing on everyone outside of me. I disconnected. I became really great at doing things to earn and seek the approval of others to feel loved and accepted. So, when I first started reading the Bible and God’s words (which I sometimes conceptualize as a love story), it was unfamiliar. I wanted to believe in God and His Son Jesus and to experience this love, but it felt extremely uncomfortable at times.

In psychology, we call this a state of cognitive dissonance: having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially regarding behavioural decisions and attitude change. Bringing God’s love and light against my previously held beliefs brought uncomfortable feelings in my body. On the one hand, what an amazing way God created us to adapt to scary situations. On the other, if I want to live a full life of freedom and abundance, I need to learn to trust the Holy Spirit inside of me again, choosing to re-author the story my mind created that was familiar yet not the truth.

How do I do this? I begin to recognize I have a choice now in the present. God created free will and gives us a choice to have a relationship with Him and believe His promises are true for our life now. When I choose to believe that God created me from love, He is in control; the Bible is a redemption story demonstrating His process may bring up extreme uncomfortableness in our minds and bodies. So, I want to offer a place to start. When we connect with our present bodily sensations, we can ground ourselves without getting hooked by future unknowns. We can begin to trust in God and who He created us to be.

Take a moment and sit in a comfortable place, with something supporting your back and feet flat on the floor. Slowly begin to tune in to what is around. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, smells, things you can touch and feel around you. And just begin to notice and name those things. For example, I notice my gray blanket; it is soft and warm to touch. I notice the brown wood sign hanging on my wall. I smell the floral scent coming from the candle next to me. And repeat this for several minutes until you start to feel present in your environment. As you practise this, you will begin to notice things outside of your own thoughts and feelings. You can start to see all the things that God has provided in this moment for you. You can begin to feel safe and let go, not having to try and predict the bad thing in the future that may happen. You can begin to realize He created the vast and abundant world around you and everything in it, and you can surrender that control back to Him, accepting His abundant love, even if it’s just for a moment.