Another in the Fire

I think there has been no other time in history where “connecting” with others appears to be so easily accessible, but yet loneliness is at an all-time high. When David was hiding in the caves, worried that Saul and his army would find him, we don’t know whether he was literally alone, but we know from his writing he felt alone, trapped without escape. Have you ever had a time in your life when you felt lonely, wondering if anyone cares? Wondering where God is when hardship comes, and you feel distant from Him? Have you ever felt like you were crying out to God, and your prayers appeared to just hit the ceiling and echo back at you?

I know I have felt all of the above and so much more. You see, this past year has been nothing short of a nightmare for my family. Not only did we have to navigate through a pandemic, but also through issues surrounding my husband’s PTSD and all the effects his mental health has had on him, his walk with God, and our marriage. I found myself at a crossroads. I could either try to go through it all on my own, with my wisdom, allowing my human emotions to dictate my future or I could lean into God like never before. I am pleased looking back that I chose to allow God to carry me. Now I wish I could say that by choosing to rely on God, I’ve never once felt like I was alone or that all the hours on my knees in prayer meant that my situation was instantly made whole again. No, in fact, I’ve experienced many times when I cried out to God asking why the breakthrough hasn’t come yet, why weren’t we seeing victory? But you see, we don’t serve a “Do Nothing” God.

He is always working even when we can’t see it, even when we feel He isn’t hearing us. And then, when His timing is right, He will reveal snippets of His plan to us. God isn’t trying to be distant, mysterious or hard to understand – He’s being merciful.

I vividly remember one day back in early summer, I was standing at my kitchen sink literally crying out to God, telling him all the reasons why I couldn’t do this anymore and that I couldn’t carry on. I was feeling like I was going through this all alone. Where was God? Why am I enduring all this heartache? I ended my breakdown with a simple declaration of “I’m done!” Not 10 seconds later, as I picked up my phone and happened to open up my Pinterest App, did a miracle happen. As I opened up the app, the first thing that popped on my screen seemingly out of nowhere was this:

“I’ve got this. Everything will be okay. Just go out there and love your husband. Forgive your husband. I need you to forgive him and help him climb out of this hole. Be there for him, just like I have been there for you.” -God.

It was SIGNED by GOD. God knew just what I needed and when I needed it. I wasn’t alone; He was there with me the whole time: through the pain and the heartache.  Yes, God could take it all away, but then my faith would have no reason to grow. I would not need to learn what leaning into God looks like. I wouldn’t have seen God working miracles and sending me personal messages to help me hold on to hope.

I recently read a quote by Lysa Terkeurst that hit me to my core and helped me wrap my mind around why my life took the road it has.

“God doesn’t want you or me to suffer. But he will allow it in doses to increase our trust. Our pain and suffering aren’t to hurt us. It is to SAVE us. To save us from a life where we are self-reliant, self-satisfied, self-absorbed, and set up for the greatest pain of all…. separation from God.” 

Isaiah 43:1-2 ESV says: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

There is a song by Hillsong United that I encourage you to listen to. There is “Another in the Fire” has been on repeat in my house for months.

There’s a grace when the heart is under fire

Another way when the walls are closing in

And when I look at the space between

Where I used to be and this reckoning

I know I will never be alone

I can see the light in the darkness

As the darkness bows to Him

I can hear the roar in the heavens

As the space between wears thin

I can feel the ground shake beneath us

As the prison walls cave in

Nothing stands between us

There was another in the fire

Standing next to me

There was another in the waters

Holding back the seas

And should I ever need reminding

Of how I’ve been set free

There is a cross that bears the burden

Where another died for me

There is another in the fire

The glorious truth is you and I; we will never be alone….

Father God, what an amazing comfort to know that we, Your children, are never alone no matter what we are going through. Thank you that You, the God of the universe, care about the small details going on in our lives. May we remind ourselves on those days when we feel far from You or maybe wondering if You are hearing the cries of our heart that You are always working, You haven’t forgotten us.  You are not a “do nothing” God, and so we praise You for what You are doing and will continue to do in our lives. May You get the glory in all our stories.  Amen.