Low Expectations

I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy. 2 Corinthians 7:4 ESV

I once heard someone say, the key to avoiding getting hurt or offended was to keep your expectations low. As I reflected on my own life and choices in contrast to others, this statement confirmed why I was different than others in my life. Somewhere along the way, as a young child, I unknowingly adopted this way of thinking and way of life. The key to never getting hurt or disappointed was to have low expectations of people, that way they will never really let you down. John Bevere says in his book, The Bait of Satan, that expectation is the breeding ground for an offence. One day as a young girl, I decided the best defence was to expect almost nothing of anyone.

This way of thinking and believing worked for me. I lived with little to no expectations of people in my life. If they showed up, I was so happy, thankful and enjoyed them but if they didn’t show up or had to cancel, I simply let it go because somewhere deep inside I expected them not to do what they said they would do. I could let go of disappointments easily. I never held on to an offence, when people hurt me or rejected me, I would fluff it off and say they were probably just having a bad day, I would never let painful things stick.

I did this in my relationship with my husband, colleagues, family, friends and with God. Keeping my expectations low meant that I didn’t need or depend on anyone for anything. I could go about my life and days self-sufficient only doing what I could do on my own and if anyone came along for the journey that was just a bonus. Now, it’s one thing to keep your expectations low in your relationships with other people who are flawed and capable of great hurts and disappointments. But to put this mindset onto our relationship with our perfect God is something else entirely.

There are several stories in the Bible where Jesus asked people a question. The son of God, God Himself, all-knowing, all-powerful, the God of the exceedingly abundant, asked a question to the people He was with “What do you want me to do for you?”

It’s not like God didn’t know what they needed, it’s not like God was limited in his ability to give them anything and everything. He could, yet He still asked the question, “what do you want me to do for you?”

One day in a staff meeting we asked our staff, if Jesus asked you, “what do you want me to do for you?” How would you answer? If the God of heaven, in whom anything was possible was asking me, “what do you want me to do for you?”; the first thing that came to my mind was, “Nothing, I’m good.”

As our team was taking time to share, a colleague answered this question the same instinctual way, and as the words, “Nothing, I’m good,” came out of his mouth, it hit me differently. I saw myself, my heart. As I heard the words out loud, it penetrated my spirit and I saw the utter disconnect, arrogance and defensive stance in this answer; my answer, to the God of heaven and earth, asking me the question; “what do you want me to do for you?” “Nothing, I’m good,” UGH!

We can spiritualize anything and make ourselves believe that it’s a good thing. We say, “I am just so grateful for what God has done for me. I already have everything I could ever want, need or desire;

I am content. I am already living an abundant life” and we could keep on going and going. But the hard truth of it is that we, more often than not, keep God at bay, just like we keep everyone else at bay because we don’t want to be disappointed. At least that is what it was for me.

The truth is that we serve a God of abundance, of exceedingly abundantly more than all we could ever think or ask, a God that gives overflowing joy in the midst of our affliction. There is no circumstance that is too big for Him. There is no problem that He does not know what to do with. He is over all and He wants to bring hope and glory in all.

Every time we push the God of the universe away—the God who made all this world for you and for me, the God who knows every hair on your head and knew you before the foundations of the world and formed you, intentionally—we play right into the enemy’s plans for our lives, plans for scarcity, lack and fear of pain. There is no fear in love, as perfect love, complete love, powerful love casts away all fear of hurt, disappointment or rejection and betrayal.

We cannot avoid affliction, and the truth is that even with low expectations, we are not actually avoiding affliction. We are still hurt, pressed and disappointed, and let down, however, we fool ourselves into believing that we expected it all along, so it’s not a surprise to us. Affliction and trouble are promised in this life—in this broken world that we live in—so we must learn to embrace and expect trouble while expecting the full measure of abundant life in the midst of our trouble.

Low expectations do not promise the avoidance of pain; low expectations only limit the amount of good and life and blessing that God has already provided for you and me to walk in. These attempts to avoid or minimize pain and disappointment also avoid and minimize joy, love, peace and abundant life.

So how would you answer, the abundant God of heaven and earth, who created you and loves you, in whom anything is possible if He were to ask you today; “What do you want me to do for you?”